Apheida
Immediately as I start to write, I feel inhibited. Like I'm going to fail, like every word could come out wrong, lacking in poetry, skill and style, unprofound and devoid of meaning. I stop, hesitate to go on. Do I think? Am I self-conscious? What do I possibly have to say? Anything worth writing about? Does it matter?
Ruphus
Fear of uncovering self?
Apheida
Of finding myself unable to express oh the many metaphysical experiences of an uncouth mind, a cocooned soul? I feel self-conscious and realise I am also self-critical. A perfectionist?
Ruphus
Can anything be better than what it is at a precise moment?
Apheida
Until it is no more - anything! Since everything is constantly changing all the time. The same dancer will never step twice in the same way, or reach, or lift or turn or stretch or bend, or stand or sit the same woman or man.
Ruphus
And yet ... there is constancy in change.
Apheida
Is there constancy in change that is constant, that is without change? Constancy in constant change: what does it constitute?
Ruphus
What is constant? Consciousness is constant, a perpetual awareness and where lacking, the ability to be aware, the possibility of awareness where it isn't there. Constant awareness or constantly the possibility to be aware, constitutes consciousness. Consciousness is constantly aware. It is aware of its own existence, and it is aware of change. That anything exists, means that it is, when it isn't, the possibility of it being. It being anything. It can be anything.
Apheida
Then what is? Change is and it is constant. It is constantly changing. Then what remains the same? Change is inherently not the same. What changes cannot be the same as anything, not even the same as itself! Every moment passes and many more pass swiftly. Show me a person who is aware of every moment in a lifetime, who can recall consciously all the changing moments, who can be aware of all the moments lived!
Ruphus
The possibility of that person is certainly there, whether or not we are aware. Awareness is always there, the question is, whether a given person is aware, that is conscious - to be fair. Consciousness is constantly aware, despite a person's will to share in the awareness.
Apheida
Who is consciousness then, if not a person?
Ruphus
Consciousness is anyone or anything. Give it any name you want!
Apheida
Divine force constantly aware, observer to all that is constantly changing.
