Half Moon (in Capricorn)

Am recognizing past misconceptions about the spine, amongst other things. Samskaras? Habit patterns? Am attempting to rearrange, ever so subtly, lumbar* and thoracic** relations. It’s taken over two years of conscious study, practical effort, and countless lessons with great masters to arrive at this juncture. And this only after having crossed many more minor and major physiophilosophical junctures. These experiences are often nameless, the are only felt (in body, mind and spirit). Nameless because I feel a concept without form. Forms being words, symbols, language, structures etc.(in terms of anatomy (body maps) and beyond). Nameless because I feel what is formed without conscious conceptio. Body sensations manifesting in the flesh I never conceived to my knowledge. The question is, how to perceive one's own existential form? How to perceive what lies beyond (either way outwardly or inwardly)? A conceptual relationship of the self with an extensive manifest reality (nature) exists. And a formal relationship with "reality" exists also. Bound by biology, physics and ecosystems, forms inter-are. ____________________________________________

*lumbar axis exhale breath pattern (half-cow); pelvic floor, lower torso musculature "awakening"; hold inhale form (**) during cow bottom consciousness

**thoracic axis inhale breath pattern (half-cat) (inflated rib cage, expansion towards the back, upper torso musculature "awakening"); hold exhale form (*) during cat top consciousness _____________________________________________

Take a teacher’s lesson and find a way to study it - through questioning, contemplation, practice etc.

Dancers are philosophers. 


 Anyone who moves is, Anyone who makes of movement art.

The biological vessel has peculiar responses to the experiences it is subjected to, as well as phenomena surrounding it. This dynamic merits more examination. But there is so mucho going on all the time, that is is difficult to keep track of it all.

Every time he steps into the room I seem to lose my balance. How do I stay balanced even in his nerve racking presence? How do I not get turned on and distracted from the spiritual quest of liberation? Is existence indeed only composed of nature (i.e. hormones, biological structures, the manifest universe (formed conceptializations?))? Or does something lie beyond? And what is that like? Must conceptualize, must give form. Why? To live, to survive? What if what lies beyond is formless and deceptualized? How can it be understood from a place of form (beig alive, in a body, on a planet, a part of the physical universe etc.)? All that is not known remains a mystery. No mystery can be eternal, can it? Form conceptualized... formless concepts ... unconpetualized formlessness ... mysteries that can be solved?

Sometimes a teacher’s brilliance is realized in the repercussions of the lessons given, the effects these have over time, not necessarily in the moment of instruction. What carries over to the context outside of the classroom? What remains in consciousness, what travels through the unconscious? All input requires digestion. All effort (spirit) demands rest (organic limitations).

Are other spirtiaul scriptures around the world, in structure similar to the Bible in terms of being a collection of writings realized over time by countless authors and even more countless storytellers? Or do traditions with an unfiltered core exist, that have been carried over faithfully, consistently, obstinately from generation to generation?

Grauzahn Wilderbart (Märchenfigur) Greytooth Wilderbeard (Fairy-tale figure)

Prämens / premenstrual: cramps, heightened sensitivity, grumpiness, sore breasts, bloating, less energy, biological low (biolow/Biotief)

Quantumphysical prayer / Quantenphysische Meditation / Oración Cuántica

To what extent is Prakrti (everything nature) aware of Purusha (pure consciousness)? Or is awareness reserved for one end of the (ever-twisting) existential axis of the observer and the observed, stacked in favor of a solitary witness to realize themself? To what extent is the very eye-organ proof that (pure) consciousness does have a hand in the manifested world of nature and is thus also accountable for nature's evolution?

first dimension

body in space
a particle in emptiness
amongst other particles
all connected through 
emptiness in space

bodies seated
on a seat planted
on the ground
of a revolving planet
united through emptiness
in space

bodies of billions of cells

next dimension

entire body presence
feet legs knees
hands arms elbows
hips shoulders
torso head
front back sides
perceptive mechanisms everywhere
the senses
see hear taste smell touch
think know
eyes ears muth tongue
the brain

next dimension

skeleton, muscles, skin
body base
vertebrae skull
nervous system
blood flow
energy snake
axial body illumination

sacred body
gracious gift of Nature
gratitude for the physical form
gratitude for a fabulous planet
our Mother Earth

billions of bodies on Earth

next dimension

breath
flowing through the body
breathing in the world
lungs expanding
oxygen
gratitude for trees
breathing
out flows carbon dioxide
breathing in and out
various organs
the diaphragm
the heart

next dimension

outside the body
over the head
energy crown
shining bright
energy flow
suspended
in emptiness

billions of planets in space
united by emptiness

stillness

except
the giant sounds
of a beating heart 
like an enormous bell
held by autonomous
luminous pillars
drumming incessantly
in the ribcage cathedral
of a skeleton cloaked
in emptiness and mystery
_______________________________________

Nature loves wisdom as much as her observer does. To think about everything that's there that one does not perceive. To train and refine one's perception. What does this mean?

What is the bridge between prakrti (natural perceptivity (perceiving and being perceived)) and purusha (pure perception)? Is it really the breath? What does it mean to purify perception? What is the relationship between the heart and the breath?
__________________________________________

Ways to quiet the heart according to a Western physician:
- reduce the need for oxygen (breath work)
- muscles are relaxed
- a matter of perception; perception CAN go beyond heart "distraction"
___________________________________________

Purusha,
mysterious presence
making me self-aware.
I, too, 
love thee.
Sincerely,
Prakrti

Full Moon in Sagittarius

On a holistic awakening of the body.

You (mind, consciousness) are the body. The body is you. If you are spirit divine, then so is your biological body.

I've picked up on a perceptive phenomenon towards my body in terms of separateness, which appears to be calcified into its very tissue. The fascial net (connective tissue) is definitely affected, also muscles (dormant, hyperactive) and joints. Perhaps even the bones. Certainly the cellular map will be affected. Not sure how this affects the functioning of the nervous system. Is it actually the fascia that dictates movement, not muscle mass? Given its alleged superior number of neurons? It makes sense that the net moveth the mass, not vice versa. Too much mass force could rip the net connective force, couldn't it?

How can yoga help, say which asanas (poses), to integrate the wholeness of the human body and awaken atrophied parts to their existence as an integral element of a whole? What kind of practice can accomplish a holistic awakening of conscious proprioception? Only seated meditation? Cannot the principles of observation, awereness and mindfulness (i.e. body scanning, samadhi, complete absorption) be applied in any position?

The weight of my breasts feels like a proprioceptive distraction. Must get conscious in order to integrate their sensation, position and weight into my movements to avoid "misalignments." Must find an intentional way, and train into habit conscious breast bearing. Particularly the (upper) thoracic spine appears to be affected to the bone. I suspect that the inherent anatomical structure is prepared to accomodate the additional "dead" (muscleless) weight. I do remember what it was like to feel free in my body. What it was like not to bleed. As I once was a girl without the burden of tits, these baby-feeding extensions. But do I also remember what it was like to feel trapped? Like in an egg of some sort. (Is there confinement or freedom in a sphere?) Do I remember the organic separation from the motherwomb? What did that feel like? What sensations did spirit store and why? Maybe it doesn't matter because there is always freedom within?

After "losing" my body to trauma and transformation; to high heels, tights and corsets; to pregnancy, birthing and motherhood. Yoga has helped me come into contact with my child self and my love for moving creatively. Yoga has awakened my child consciousness and triggered healing from the wounds of womanhood.

What’s up with this notion in ("Western") anatomy to separate between body parts? For the sake of specificity? Specificity in what direction? One of separating or one of integrating? How does this affect human perception of the self? And how can a holistic view be created or restored? Yes, one whole made of parts, but which side of the scale do you swing towards?

I'm currently exploring the notion of a pendulum between whole and partial perception, in terms of human anatomy, of anatomical systems of perception. What effects on proprioception has the study of the body mapped out as specific parts? As opposed to the study of the human body mapped out as a holistic flow of energy, for instance? How do different schools of body perception, i.e. Western vis a vis Eastern anatomical conceptions (organic structure mapping) affect the way a human body is perceived?

Which asanas accentuate a holistic biological proprioception as opposed to being focused on more specific aspects of structure and mobility?

It seems to be a natural consequence to do backbends given the structure of the human spine. It's why they're possible to begin with. It's clearly been done before. Thus resulting in such an organism as the limbed spiral axial creature that is the human being, who bends back and forth and side to side. Ancient humans appear to have had a remarkable understanding of human anatomy. The body scriptum alone is a testament to that. Not to mention schools of movement wisdom. Thus, study of the organic body is essential to understanding humankind. Thus, creating mind. Beyond individual musings lies the power of Evolution, ceaselessly whispering words of wisdom past and carefully listenting to the beats of contemporary creativity.

The human creature is essentially intelligent. Then why does it behave with such ignorance? Because samsara (the world) is but a narcissistic creator fascination with the terrestrial human experience? A show for some abstract observer to watch but not get distracted by? An existential carnival. And it doesn't matter which carousel or roller-coaster you choose, you're still part of the carnival. Even as a mere spectator you still are!

Is a perceiver's essential nature individual or universal?

Sri Aurobindo 1

 One day, I thought, I will not write. I will have written all that needs to be written. I will be enlightened, liberated and meditate and live daily life simply until the next transition. Life is always transitioning.
 Sri Aurobindo wrote A LOT. Not merely books and more books but also countless letters in an exchange with other seekers and kindred minds.
 Is that the enlightened way to live, Sri Aurobindo? Indeed, what a beautiful way to interact with a community in times of letters. Blessed was your life!
 Except, I believe you were crazy in love.  But suppressed the ultimate carnal bond with a woman. Why? Out of asceticism? A sacrifice? Your testicle fell ill. Did you never make love to her who you loved so much like that? There would certainly be no other. You lived together to serve a higher ideal of devotion and community. You two should have consumated your love as human men and women do, at least once. Maybe you did? Then, no more. Again, a sacrifice? An ascetic choice? 
 So you wrote and wrote and wrote and wrote, Sri Aurobindo. And what really went on in your day to day, your true inner life, nobody can know as you said. As you meditated away. And yet, here we are. You did have a lot to say.
 Your publication The Synthesis of Yoga ("All life is yoga.") is 910, nine-hundred and ten pages in volume. Why did you write so much? Out of love and passion? A love for wisdom and a passion for life in all of its sublest and grossest of manifestations (except sex)? I promise you, Sri Aurobindo, that will be the only book of yours I'm going to read. And no more than once. For you were unable to transcend the misconceptions of your time, which you possibly picked up during your European education in England. Your notions inspired by ancient Indian wisdom, such as Yoga, speak of an evolutionary dance for equilibrium divine, which you seemed to understand. But those ideas inspired by the limiting hierarchical views of colonial and imperial times are simply misguided. 
 You were of mixed languages and cultures. Maybe this led to irrational contradictions instead of rational connections. Because all life is yoga but there is no hierarchy in Nature only inter-being.

    The Nexistentialist

Multiverse* 0 - Yoga

Science: Perusha, of what particular interest is your observation? and why?

La Ciencia: Perusha, que interés en particular tienes al observar? y porque lo haces?

Die Wissenschaft: Peruscha, was interessiert dich besonders zu beobachten? und warum?

* Multiverse: @ intersection of languages (worlds of parlance) and semantics (worlds of meaning). I.e., for instance, (English+Spanish+German) + (science as a particular existential perception, way to view truths about existence + Ancient Indology (i.e.Samkhya Karika of Isvara Krsna)). 

Being in Community (Purusha and Prakrtri)

 Humanity,

I love your dress of skin,
expanded and contracted,
left to hang over time,
draping over your belt
with mysterious wrinkles --
because, what do they mean?
-- and fading shades,
playing existential games,
always moving
until thou moveth not. 

                                                                                                                                     

Harappa 1

 

Who are you,

circa 2700 Before-the-Common-Era

Mohenjodaro Bronze

on page 114?

A dancing girl?

A Mona Lisa?

Yogini engaged

in pranayam?

Praying priestess?

Artistic athlete?

Image from:
Panorama of Harappan Civilization by D.P. Sharma & Madhuri Sharma. 2003. Kaveri Books, New Delhi.