Now what?

Tyler used to write on napkins all the time. I wonder whether he still does. This napkin doesn't work so well with this pen - not the best quality napkin anyway with its environmentally conscious design and all. Breaking the routine today, March 30th 2010. A day that has a special feel to it somehow, had lots of deja-vecu moments. So I'll drink a white chocolate mocha, or "white café mocha" as it is called here in Germany, maybe today the coffee won't upset my stomach the way it tends to do since my pregnancy with Puyi. Quiet here, such a different vibe in German coffee shops than in the US. Sometimes I miss Salt Lake a lot - or Seattle, anyway the US of A. Weren't I here though, I would miss Berlin - blessed town of wonder and miraculous growth, a special kind of magic. Somehow I feel at peace today. The stress of previous weeks seems to be fading off. Bendito! Life will show me the path to go through, point out the direction. Life's plan is set somehow, no point in pretending otherwise. There is some nasty shit you gotta get through anyway - no way around it until it's overcome. You got a certain disposition for badness, you gotta fight it and overcome it. It's complicated. The path is set, but you choose how you go it, always confronted with your badness and the badness of the world. Ain't no way around it, until you overcome it. And overcoming it at the very first and most basic level is quite personal. It is your choice how or whether you deal with it. Some people may have less consciousness and need more guidance, others may simply need to figure it out the hard way all on their own, and yet others may never open up their eyes to life that way. It's just the way it is. Can't change it, can't control it... the question is, what'chu gonna do with it?

What makes a philosopher? The stamp of approval of an authority, of society? Self-proclamation? What's a thinker? Everybody thinks, or uses their thinking organ to an extent. Wisdom is one great virtue. If wisdom is what I seek, what I love, does that make me a philosopher? A lover of wisdom? One that loves wisdom? What's in a thinker, an ascetic, a lone wolf?