Days
when fall is springlike,
Wenn der Herbst frühlingshaft ist,
Cuando el otoño es primaveral,
As a substitute teacher,
sometimes I wonder, are there any good kids left in the world? It’s probably a
silly question. Timeless. Perhaps, even in ancient and prehistoric times
students taxed helpless subs. Kids appear to have a substitute teacher prejudice.
Why respect a sub? They’re not the real thing. Little do kids know; school
itself is the ideal teacher. Recently, after a particularly taxing class, my
lover apologized to me for being an awful child to substitutes. Now that I work
as one. I witness things that give me cause for concern, like the ease with
which students blatantly show disregard. Other things fill my heart with hope
for humanity. Like the daily devotion educators exhibit to take care of all
children alike. They put forth their best effort, to teach valuable lessons to
the youngest members of a society we undoubtedly share. The childless and the bearers
alike turn the wheel of cause and effect. Humanity is never without children. And
who teaches the young? The old, the knowing. It’s no particular genius, but
sheer experience that keeps the wheel of life a turning.
I live nostalgically these
days. Philosophy has become a distant lover. Would I be happier if I spent all
my time philosophizing, writing and devising? Perhaps. But being human is not limited
to self-expression. To be human is to be part of an undeniably social species.
Despite all the downsides,
working in education has been the most fulfilling job I’ve done – when I’m not
being treated like shit by middle schoolers. To be a mother is a personal
calling. To be a philosopher is passion.
Sometimes, when my son asks me
a philosophical question, I answer with a book recommendation. “Read this,” I
say. At the same time, I don’t want my teacher to answer my questions with
books. I want to know their authentic mind. In the case of my child, may he form
a mind of his own. I gave plenty of mind when my children were formed by the cells of my body,
when they were fed by the milk from my breasts.
I put reading the Buddha’s
oldest text on the back burner, his disciples’ notes on his teachings and life,
fragments of his lectures and speeches. Ancient scriptures. I pull studies
towards me just to push them away again. Regrettably, all philosophy will soon
have to be set aside, along with my study of ballet, which saddens me deeply.
I’ve accepted a giant work
assignment to substitute long-term for my middle-schooler’s Spanish teacher,
who is having a baby at the end of January next year. Yes, amidst all the contemporary
changes and challenges, babies are still being born. As always. Regardless of
what goes on in the world, women will bear babies, children will be raised, and
life will go on.
Fall of 2024. The racist,
xenophobic, misogynistic and antagonizing criminal business clown was elected,
by a narrow margin, President of the United States of America, for the second
time. Shit doesn’t feel great. Thanksgiving was characterized by delicious food
and a sense of exhaustion. The turkey effect? Or fear of fascism? I can’t be
sure…
It will require a monumental
effort to fulfill the Spanish teacher’s duties, which include instructing and
grading 150 students - three sixth grade and two eighth grade classes. This is
the kind of stuff that occurs when I put myself in God’s hands. I talk about it
in a previous unfinished and unpublished post. I throw my hands up, give myself
to God, and shit happens.
I’m a literary, linguistic and
philosophical mess! I’ll have to resume my personal creative projects once the
baby has been properly welcomed into this world by his loving parents.
I can’t help but think, about how
the fate of women throughout history has been defined by procreation and
parenthood more so than men’s, particularly in the last several thousands of
years. Perhaps, it depends on the culture. How can we know? The day to day of
ancient civilizations largely remains a mystery. Under patriarchal structures,
men haven’t had it particularly easy either. Having to fight wars, be agents of
violence and not get to feel sucks. All genders are denied their humanity in
some way, either as oppressors or as the oppressed, in hierarchical structures
characterized by inequality. Human nature is caring, cooperative, full of
emotions, hungry for attention and in need of creative expression.
Subbing was rough this bloody
Friday. Some things I cannot tolerate. Like the pubescent child calling me,
“girrl!”
“Don’t call me that,” I said
drily. “I’m a Woman.”
I earned my Womanhood. I haven’t
aged in vain. I’ve gestated and given birth three times. Been knocked up and
knocked down aplenty. Always got back up and kept walking. I take care of a household
and am an educator. I’m a full-blown woman.
When she insisted on calling
me,
“girl!”
I sent her to the office with
a note written in red ink on a white index card.
The student
is disrespectful, rude and disruptive. Please help her.
I wasn’t about to be an
example of a rollover pussy. Girls, when a bitch talks down to you, stand up!
I fight against my own
unconscious bias daily. No feminist in her right mind will just shut-the-fuck-up
at the sound of injustice!
I am reminded of a troubling
sentence I read recently during my herstory-of-women-philosophers-odyssey. I’ve
arrived at the so-called Age of Enlightenment, which roughly marks the
beginning of Modern Philosophy. Though we could argue that the Renaissance era
already exhibited modern ideas. Perhaps, even the Middle Ages. Dare I go as far
back as antiquity and prehistory for the roots of “modernity”? What
characterizes Early Modern Philosophy?
We must define each notion
carefully. To know what we’re talking about. Instead of taking understanding for
granted. At least, we must make a serious attempt to define or explain what we
mean. In fact, that is all I expect from my students to give their assignments
a genuine try. But humans are fools. Creative geniuses. Who are unpredictable, unschooled,
lazy and free. Who struggle to appreciate the freedom embedded in learning to
be.
Early Modern Philosophy is
dated as far back as the 1200s in an online article by Andrea Borghini (2019) with
the subtitle “From Aquinas (1225) to Kant (1804)” *. Regrettably, he includes
no women philosophers. He writes:
The early
modern period was one of the most innovative moments in Western philosophy,
during which new theories of mind and matter, of the divine, and of civic
society – among others– were proposed. Although its boundaries are not easily
settled, the period approximately spanned from the late 1400s to the end of the
18th century. […]
“The roots of
early modern philosophy can be traced back as far as the 1200s – to the most
mature moment of the scholastic tradition [during the
Middle Ages]. The philosophies of authors such as Aquinas (1225-1274),
Ockham (1228-1348) and Buridan (1300-1358) accorded full trust to human
rational faculties: if God gave us the faculty of reasoning, then we shall
trust that through such faculty we can achieve a full understanding of worldly
and divine matters.
Arguably,
however, the most innovative philosophical impulse came during the 1400s with
the rise of humanistic and Renaissance movements. Thanks to the intensification
of relations with non-European societies, their preexisting knowledge of Greek
philosophy and the generosity of magnates who were supporting their research,
humanists rediscovered central texts of the Ancient Greek period – new waves of
Platonism, Aristotelianism, Stoicism, Skepticism, and Epicureanism ensued,
whose influence would greatly impact key figures of early modernity.” *
So, my intuition to go as far
back as the Middle Ages, antiquity and beyond for modern ideas, is not off.
I’ll dig into what may constitute modern ideas another time. For now, we will
uncover the above-mentioned themes and others, through the lens of early modern
female philosophers.
Author Ingeborg Gleichauf, in her anthology on women philosophers, describes
the day-to-day of most women during the seventeen hundreds with a troubling
sentence:
Women were seen as big children, who were in need of
guidance. **(p.80)
This period may mark the beginning of Modern Philosophy, but some
things were not modern at all.
The day-to-day of most women in the 18th century [i.e. the 1700s] was limited to
the domestic realm. It was seen as their duty to take care of things for men,
to support them and to ensure that harmony and order reign in the home. Girls
were largely excluded from education. Educational institutions for the so
called “higher daughters” appeared only at the end of the 18th
century. There was a strict separation between the public realm of men and the
private realm, where women had their place. **(ibidem)
To what extent did modern ideas advance societal evolution?
And why the hell did it take so damn long? Why is society still not done
evolving, given that basic human rights are grossly lacking across the globe?
There is still so much idiocy and malice afflicting humanity. Why do humans
disregard their fundamentally caring nature in exchange for selfish power and
disease?
These are questions that may have to wait as I set aside my
intense philosophical studies, in exchange for devotion towards a pregnant
Spanish teacher’s middle school classes. I do know two things:
1. It is vital for a civilization to care for its young and
their best education, every single individual across any society deserves
nurture. To care for each other, to seek the good, is vital to any civilization.
Everyone can thrive when we help each other.
2. My services are temporary.
I confess to Buddhist egotism. My larger life mission is to
become illumined, to be liberated and not be reborn. I mean, truly, what for? In
the meantime, may y’all enjoy the pleasure of my service!
Fun hypotheses reappear and tempt me to continue pursuing
them amidst the trappings of the world. Fresh ideas pop up playfully. Gotama
Buddha, isn’t the world of ideas dancey and fun? But one idea, stubborn like a
mysterious forest root, remains. Liberation.
What happens when writing spreads over the course of weeks
and months. Writing is not a mere jotting down of thoughts. It is creation in
action. It is expression and art. Which belongs in the world. Individual scripture
belongs to the body, which is another world. Thus, one must liberate oneself!
How do you write freedom in the body? By being free to move? Free of pain? Free of thought? Is seeking liberation through the contemplation of an internal world an alternative to contemplating the outside world? Is it another gate towards the same destination? What lies beyond both the internal and external worlds?
* https://www.thoughtco.com/early-modern-philosophy-2670496
**The philosophical anthology by Ingeborg Gleichauf (2005), Ich will
verstehen – Geschichte der Philosophinnen (I Want to Understand – History of Women
Philosophers), is the source of the information concerning female
philosophers in this post, which I have translated from German, unless
otherwise indicated. It comes from the following chapters:
The Discovery of the Infinite World Within: The Age of the Renaissance,
To Know Clearly and Distinctly: The 17th Century,
The Lust for Knowing: The Age of Reason,
Philosophy is the Beauty of Thought: Romanticism.
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