To the Temple of the Inner Self (1) (work in progress)

Things took a turn for the worse and a turn for the better. The seeker figured it was time to incorporate *God* more into her day to day. But how? She had learned to do it one way then another. But learned not much at all. Though she was learning all the time. The only way that remained was a rather anonymous today. The already traveled paths fading in an ambiguous distance.
The Abrahamic God had disappointed. Or anyway his human description. What about Jesus' God? Still seemingly patriarchal, but loving? There were many notions of *God/des* to be found.
Ishvara pranidhana captured the seekers curiosity. An ancient Indian existential notion, meaning surrender to God. Not unlike the third step in twelve-step philosophy. "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care [of a God of our understanding]." Ishvara pranidhana is the third element in a summary of Kriya Yoga, further summarized as: Kriya Yoga = devoted discipline + study of self (scripture) + surrender to *God/des*.

But, who or what is *concept God*? In the search for the structure of meaning (*concept* <=> form), what concept corresponds with the symbolic, linguistic conglomeration, the word formation G-o-d? The problem was she'd found many. Many. Not unlike Shiva himself with hundreds of names. Like Shiva himself there were many. Are all of them but forms for a concept of *God*? But. What. Is. This. Concept called God?

Zum Tempel des Inneren Selbst

Die Dinge wurden schlimmer und sie wurden besser. Die Suchende kam zur Erkenntnis, dass es an der Zeit wäre *Gott* mehr in ihren Alltag mit einzubeziehen. Nur wie? Sie hatte es eines Wegs gelernt und auch eines anderen Weges. Aber sie hatte nicht viel gelernt. Obwohl sie ständig am lernen war. Der einzige Weg der geblieben war ein anonymes Heute. Die bereits bereisten Pfade verschwanden in einer uneindeutigen Ferne.
Der abrahamistische Gott hatte enttäuscht. Zumindest seine menschliche Darstellung. Und Jesu Gott? Noch scheinbar patriarchal aber liebend? Es gab viele Vorstellungen von *GöttIn*. 

Ishvara pranidhana erfasste die Neugier der Suchenden. Eine Urindische existentielle Vorstellung mit der Bedeutung, sich Gott hingeben. 

Aber wer oder was ist *das Konzept Gott*? In der Suche nach der Struktur der Bedeutung (*Vorstellung*<=>Gestalt), welches Denkmodell ...

Sich verloren fühlen, allein. Gottlos sein. Aber warum, wenn Ernergie überall ist? Wasauchimmer dieses sogenannte göttliche (Licht) ist logischerweise allgengenwärtig. Licht? oder ist es doch die Leere? Wie kommt es dazu, dass Menschen sich in Gefühlen der Einsamkeit, Einzigartigkeit, des Getrenntseins verlieren können? Wegen der Geburtserfahrung, der organischen Trennung des Mutterleibes?

Rumbo al Templo del Ser Interior

... Craquear el código del cuerpo está cabrón. Requiere de mucho esfuerzo, entrenamiento, disciplina, concentración y práctica a lo largo del tiempo. La vida individual no parece distinguirse de la evulución entera. Padece de los mismos principios. El vivir individual de algunas decadas se rige por los mismos principios que una evolución planetaria entera de billones de años. Un dios de pensamiento terrenal no se distingue de la tierra. Aun si dicho pensamiento desea ir mas allá. ¿Más allá de qué? No se. ¿Acaso importa? Más allá del instante, quizás. La eternidad existe en cada momento. ¿No es asi? Ese algo cohabitando el mismo momento y todos los momentos. ¿Ese más allá?

Phenomenon 1

Ruphus: You are very high maintenance.
Apheida: Is your undivided attention too much to ask for?

Fenómeno 1

Rufo: Eres bien demandante.
Afeida: ¿Es demasiado pedir tu plena atención?

Phänomen 1

Ruphus: Du bist sehr anspruchsvoll.

Apheida: Ist deine volle Aufmerksamkeit zuviel verlangt?

Feminism/o/us

Feminism - through the lens of a female, coming from a feminine point of view + open to the male point view + LGBTQIA+ perspective

Feminismo - a través del lente de una mujer, que viene desde una perspecteiva femenina + apertura hacia el punto de vista masculino + la perspectiva LGBT+

Feminismus - durch die Linse der Weiblichkeit sehen, von einem weiblichen Blickwinkel stammend + offen für die männliche Perspektive + die LGBTQIA* Perspektive

   

 Sophia Schwangerschaft und Geburt

On The Wheel of Joy

 Thou shalt eat death, and thou shalt shit death. To live. And death will feed the seed that nurtures you. Because death is life. And life is the sweet illusion that gives the nectar of love its flavour and bitterness. So, is the reality one of suffering or one of joy? What is the underlying principle truth?

Let's make a context of joy.
The current story goes: Souls, spirits, energies incarnate as a result of being trapped in cycles of suffering. And whatever joy there may be, it, too, will ultimately result in suffering. A common contemporary equation that gives context to existential notions about humankind, is as follows:
 (to live in the world equals suffering)
Because you're also by default dumb, the story goes, you're ignorant. You, human creature.
 But what if you're inherently intelligent? Which you evidently are, or you wouldn't be alive this very moment.
 Thus, souls, spirits, energies incarnate intelligently into a world of joy.
The equation is actually as follows:
 (to live in the world equals intelligent joy)
Against this backdrop, in the context of a world of joy, suffering also occurs and ignorance is a present phenomenon*. But neither ignorance nor suffering are the real protagonists of the existential carnival called Life. No, the nexistential carnival, in which phenomena inter-are on the nexus of existence, is all about fun and enjoying the ride. 
 Art is the real backdrop of human existence, highlighting humanity's intelligent and joyful creativity. A force of peace and of balancing and re-balancing intentionally and creatively. With experimentations (intentional experiencing) and experiences (what happens) that, yes, can result in suffering. But,
 the real context of the world is JOY.

*On the matter of ignorance. Yes, sensory perception has its limitations. Of course, an evolving organism cannot know everything at every moment. In fact, what does it know at all? Except for what is built into the subtlest twists and turns of its complex design. Only in a benevolent, joyful universe can it even exist for a time. This, every organism surely knows within, or it wouldn't be to begin with.

Sri Aurobindo 1

 One day, I thought, I will not write. I will have written all that needs to be written. I will be enlightened, liberated and meditate and live daily life simply until the next transition. Life is always transitioning.
 Sri Aurobindo wrote A LOT. Not merely books and more books but also countless letters in an exchange with other seekers and kindred minds.
 Is that the enlightened way to live, Sri Aurobindo? Indeed, what a beautiful way to interact with a community in times of letters. Blessed was your life!
 Except, I believe you were crazy in love.  But suppressed the ultimate carnal bond with a woman. Why? Out of asceticism? A sacrifice? Your testicle fell ill. Did you never make love to her who you loved so much like that? There would certainly be no other. You lived together to serve a higher ideal of devotion and community. You two should have consumated your love as human men and women do, at least once. Maybe you did? Then, no more. Again, a sacrifice? An ascetic choice? 
 So you wrote and wrote and wrote and wrote, Sri Aurobindo. And what really went on in your day to day, your true inner life, nobody can know as you said. As you meditated away. And yet, here we are. You did have a lot to say.
 Your publication The Synthesis of Yoga ("All life is yoga.") is 910, nine-hundred and ten pages in volume. Why did you write so much? Out of love and passion? A love for wisdom and a passion for life in all of its sublest and grossest of manifestations (except sex)? I promise you, Sri Aurobindo, that will be the only book of yours I'm going to read. And no more than once. For you were unable to transcend the misconceptions of your time, which you possibly picked up during your European education in England. Your notions inspired by ancient Indian wisdom, such as Yoga, speak of an evolutionary dance for equilibrium divine, which you seemed to understand. But those ideas inspired by the limiting hierarchical views of colonial and imperial times are simply misguided. 
 You were of mixed languages and cultures. Maybe this led to irrational contradictions instead of rational connections. Because all life is yoga but there is no hierarchy in Nature only inter-being.

    The Nexistentialist

Ancient Evolutionary Theory

The ways in which wisdom finds expression, are as countless as the minds that move the bodies of creation. All bodies are creation thus are the minds. All created by the impermament but constant force of evolution, of observation, experiencing, adaptation, change and development across space and over time. Evolution is the force of creation expressed collectively in individual lives. No creature escapes being a creation of all experiences that have gone before. Culminating in the forms of now. And pushing forth and beyond into a wild unknown yet familiar. Mind, sentient fractal force of perception and conception, seeks to go on, to be and inter-be. Thus, giving form to organisms and ecosystems, to bodies and experiences of the world it manifests. It's what we call reality. Evolution is God, or Goddess, or Nature and the Great Observer, an information processor and life developer. So is human kind. Humans are a very peculiar expression of these creative evolutionary forces, but none all too different from any manifestation in the universe known to the sensory systems of perception.

So, is evolution, then, love?

Urevolutionstheorie

Die Weisheit findet Ausdruck auf so manigfaltige Art und Weise wie die Geister Geschöpfe bewegen. Alle Körper sind Geschöpfe wie es auch die Geister sind. Geschaffen wurden alle von der Kraft der Evolution die unbeständig aber fortwährend ist. Eine beobachtende Kraft des Erfahrens, sich anpassend, der Veränderung und Entwicklung über Raum und Zeit. ...

Theoría de la Evolución Antigüa

Las maneras de expresar sabiduría son tan incontables como las mentes que mueven los cuerpos de la creación. Ambos cuerpos y mentes son creaciones. Ambos son creados por la fuerza de la evolución cual es temporal pero constante. Una fueza de observación, experimentar, adaptación, cambio y desarrollo dentro del espacio y a lo largo del tiempo. ...

Riddle of the Queer Engineer

Lady Harlot who invented 

ages ago and never lamented
the head board
was a queer engineer.

None of the men 

she fucked knew what
went on in her head.
They had sex with Lady Harlot instead.
Oh, and she loved her bed!
Which she gripped with her hands by the board
As her body with multiplied pleasure roared
Holding on tight as her flesh took flight
And her mind through wild paradise soared.

Asylum 3

Fire broke glass today.
Who puts two matches
in a moribund candle
enclosed in cold glass?
One of absent mind does.

Scherben bringen Glück Frauenstück!

Tonino Carotone - Me Cago En El Amor [Official Music Video]

Cansancio de amar / Love tired / Liebesmüde

 Entonces ¿qué es amar?
¡Buddha, Jesús, Alguién! 
¿Existe alternativa al amor
cual tenga su dulzura
Pero no su dolor?

So what is loving?
Buddha, Jesus, Somebody!
Is an alternative to love in vain
that has its sweetness
But not its pain?

Was ist denn Lieben?
Buddha, Jesus, Jemand!
Ist eine Alternative zur Liebe
mit Anmut aber ohne Schmerz
bloss ein Scherz?
________________

Love, but a silly affliction? I'd rather be afflicted with depression than other human ills. But to be afflicted with love? Show me a sage that has the courage to eat out of the spoon of love and spit in its face. I'll tell you who. All of you! All baby humans do. And it doesn't matter. Because it, too, simply is not where everything isn't. No, in love everything is! So is desire, yearning, longing, clinging, dreaming. Can love be enlightenend? Do humans grow tired of loving because of its link to suffering? You want to blame the self for suffering? Blame love! Ambiguous notion wreaking havoc in the mind. Love is death. None who love remain untouched by transformation, immune to loss of self. Love launches the self into perdition in the most irresistible and inescapable of ways. Existential loops of loving reaping countless bodies millenium after millenium. Evolution being the greatest lover of all. Love is exactly that which we will all experience. All that we fools have incaranted to experience. God help us all! God save us from love with an even greater love, the greatest love ever experienced! Be born and find yourself clinging to love. Wrapped in its arms. Find yourself in its unavoidable grip. And suffer with it. Welcome to the greatest show on Earth! Welcome to the existential carnival of love!
"Fuckin' and fightin' it's all the same. Living with Louie Dog's the only way to stay sane." (What I Got -Sublime)

Warrior / Krieger / Guerrero 1

 Wave of Sorrow

Soldier stood there
Legs apart
Arms dropped
Hands folded in the back

Stoic stance
Tears flooding 
The face melting
Torso trembling

Scarred
by the emotional chemicals
of war.

 Kummerwelle

Soldat:in stand da
Beine auseinander
Arme gefallen
Hände hinter dem Rücken gefaltet

Ein stoischer Stand
Tränen überfluten
Das Gesicht schmilzt
Der Rumpf zittert

Kampferprobt
durch die seelischen Gifte
des Krieges.

 Ola de Tormento

Soldad@ ahí parad@
Las piernas separadas
Los brazos caidos
Las manos detras de la espalda dobladas

Su postura estóica
Lágrimas inundan
La cara que se derrite
El pecho tiembla

Cicatrizad@
por los químicos emocionales
de la guerra.