On the (Human) Art of Nature / Zur (Menschlichen) Kunst der Natur / Respecto al Arte (Humano) de la Naturaleza

Enamored with poetry, with art and
the creative expression of the terrestrial mind.
I die without writing.
Without lyricism, the world just is not.
Without music or movement, why even be?
I love art.
But what is it?
This question tears me up inside.
Who is Art?
A Goddess, or
merely a simple human being?

Sound coming from the smartphone distorted distinctly by the wind. Is the music that I'm hearing real? Or is it but a figment of human imagination? For, as a human being, one never dreams alone. Everything is something someone sometime somewhere imagined. Who imagined all this? A goddess or a god?
The cup was surely made thanks to the desire of people past dreaming while cupping their hands to hold water, berries or seeds. Dreaming of holding water, berries and seeds beyond their hands. Who put the cup on the Platonic shelf of concepts? A concept that continues to create countless forms for holding substances beyond cupping human hands. What goddess or god dreamt up the concept called *cup*? Dreamt up shelters that have taken humans beyond forests, trees and caves? Who first dreamt of the comfort of running water or deliciously seasoned food? Who yearned for cool in the heat and warmth in the cold? We all have, haven't we? Not unlike Nature herself with her rivers, hot springs, pools, fires and caves. Have we humans merely desired to be like Her and create our visions, our versions of waterflow, light, matter, heat, cold, birth, destruction, day and night? And who imagined water, fire, metal, wind, wood and stone? Please tell me. Who?

"Grandmother Moon" - Pinterest

Verliebt in die Poesie, in die Kunst und
in den kreativen Asudruck des irdischen Geistes.
Ohne Schrift sterbe ich.
Ohne Lyrik ist die Welt einfach nicht.
Ohne Musik, ohne Bewegung warum bin ich?
Ich liebe die Kunst.
Aber was ist sie?
Diese Frage zerreist mich innerlich.
Wer ist die Kunst?
Eine Göttin, oder
bloss ein stinknormaler Mensch?

Enamorada de la poesia, del arte y
de la expresión creativa de la mente terrenal.
Sin escritura me muero.
Sin el lirismo no hay mundo.
Sin música, sin moviemento ¿para qué ser?
Amo el arte.
¿Pero qué es?
Esta pregunta me desgarra por dentro.
¿Quien es Arte?
¿Una Diosa, o
simplemente un ser humano común y corriente?

Triple Training Tuesday

Cancer season. High summer (Hochsommer). Long days. Moody moon mother. Approaching New Moon. Moody Monday. Monthly female biology taking place. First day of bleeding crying liters of tears. Yearning for dead mother. Searching for memories. Remembering Alzheimer's as a slow losing, detaching, letting go. This feels spiritual somehow. Makes me think of Buddhism, Yoga, Vipassana and Zen. Mother was a philosopher, a mystic, a spiritual creature. Why remember? To cry in the present and laugh at the past? If memory serves. Why not serve the present moment instead? Anatomical onslaught massaging the entire flesh with yoga and study and dance and more yoga. And a lot of activity at home. Duties of the house like cooking, washing, rearing children, and tending to marriage/partnership demand attention. Forgetting all the bawling from the day before. Thankful for the passing of another wave. The worst is over -- when the eye-sockets make waterfalls. The bleeding will naturally follow its course. The breasts feel less heavy thanks to training and brasiers. I did feel odd with them at ballet today. Then I try not to pay attention. But the body never stops paying attention. Now I know this. So I cannot help but look again and again. Look at the breath. Feel the sensations. Becoming aware of the inner strings that hold it all together. Oh, and there are countless strings! And we (humans) try again and again to paint a picture of this magnificent, mysterious and transparent body - individually, collectively and universally. Mapping the famously little known human body that is actually well known by all. Only if you look. But don't you get caught up with it! Except when you are training for the moment. For that moment, that one instant, no matter how fleeting, that flash of all-knowing. Complete awareness of the body interwoven with the threads of time and space, of fractals and movement and stillness threading through emptiness. Complete absorption. 

Iyengar says: "Repeated effort made with a thorough understanding of the art and philosophy of yoga and with perfect communion of body, mind and soul is not a mechanical practice but a religious and spiritual one."* What does it take to understand the art and philosophy of yoga - or anything for that mattter? It takes study. To look repeatedly, to search, to practice, to remember with religious fervor. 

And it also demands detachment. Iyengar goes on to explain, that Hatha Yoga blends the forces of practice (remembering) and renunciation (forgetting). Ha, the sun, is the "life-force, the seer, the very being". Purusha? Tha, the moon, is "consciousness, the reflected light of the seer, citta" (consciousness = mind + intelligence + ego). Prakriti and the three gunas? The three fates (Greek mythology) threading the destiny of human kind? Yes, like a moody moon. Sometimes visible, sometimes gone. Hatha yoga blends these forces, which are merged in the seer (Iyengar, 2002). In order to see, one must look. And on the night of the New Moon neither moon nor sun will be seen despite their presence. Purusha, why look at all?

Because if you're not observing, you don't exist. Since you have to see to be, then might as well study yourself until you realize yourself as you really are.

Llorando a solas en compañpía, asi te veía.

In company crying alone I saw you.

In Begleitung alleine am weinen sah ich dich.

Martes de Multiples Musas

Es la temporada de cáncer. Alto verano, Hochsommer en alemán. Los días son largos y cálidos. Launische** Luna Madre. Se avecina la Luna Nueva. Cambiando de humor el lunes. Sucede la biología femenina mensual. El primer día del sangrado derramando litros de lágrimas. Añorándo a mi madre muerta. Busco memorias. Recuerdo al Alzheimer como una perdida lenta, como un proceso de soltar y dejar ir. Lo que me parece algo espiritual. Me hace pensar en el budismo, el yoga, el vipassana y el zen. Mamá fue filósofa, mística y una criatura espiritual. ¿Pa ra qué recordar? ¿Para llorar en el presente y reirse del pasado? Si te sirve la memoria. ¿Porqué no mejor servirle al momento presente? Una avalancha anatómica masajea la carne entera con el yoga, estudios, baile y más yoga. Y con muchas actividades caseras. Los deberes del hogar como cocinar, lavar, criar y cuidar del matrimonio, de la pareja demandan mucha atención. Trantando de olvidar todo el llanto del día anterior. Me siento agradecida que otra ola ha pasado. ...

*Iyengar (2002). Light on the Yoga Sutras. p.62

** launisch - alemán, que con frecuencia cambia de humor 

Human good - an end in itself

Reckless for justice
The moral drunk
With love in their heart
For humankind
defending the mistreated
and defeating the beaters
With singular resolve
Eudaemonia,
"Happiness as
the legitimate aim
of any moral action,"
so the Aristotle story goes.
Pleasure guided 
by the sobriety of reason.
The moral drunk
decides with the heart.

The Nerd Shirt

Trivers/e/o/um 66

 (Un)Useful Prayer 1
Do you know how much sperm roams the Earth?

Semen Town/ Seed City
Do you realize how much semen is walking around town? We live in a city full of semen. The whole world swims in semen. Reason for being. I am therefore from semen. Long live semen! Amen.

Oración (In)Útil 1
¿Usted sabe cuanto semen se mueve por el mundo?

La Ciudad del Semen ¿Se da usted cuenta de cuánto semen camina por las calles? Vivimos en una ciudad llena de semen. Razón de existir. Soy por el semen. ¡Que viva el semen! Amén.

Un)Taugliches Gebet 1
Wissen Sie wieviel Sperma sich auf der Erde befindet?

Samenstadt Sind sie sich darüber im klaren wieviel Samen in der Stadt herumtobt? Wir leben in einer Stadt voller Samen. Die gesamte Welt schwimmt im Samen. Der Grund für das Sein. Ich bin also vom Samen. Lang lebe der Samen! Amen

Abby Jame GIFs

Dionysius 2

Drunken Sex

Fuck.
Don’t care.
Don’t cum. Too drunk. Who cares? It’s ok. We had fun! Both happy. Wish I still smoked cigarettes. Where are his glasses again? Blind motherfucker … Still wanna cum? Na, just wanna fuck. Just for fun.

The worst monk ever

Holding the heavy Buddha candle Falling over dramatically Splashing scented wax all over himself And injuring foot, leg and elbow. It was just a couple of beers And a little fornication. That’s all! Is that why abstinence from fun objects is a thing? Oh but the laughter!

Trivers/e/o/um 66

Holy Sunday

Woke up with good intentions
Had church in bed instead

What can I say? He seduced me Resulting in multiple bliss.

Yes, Buddha, I shall suffer again. It’s true, we fucked, And it was all over.

Santo Domingo

Desperté con buenas intenciones Pero mejor fui a misa en cama

¿Qué puedo decir? Él me sedujo Y resultó una múltiple bienaventuranza.

Si, Buddha, se que volveré a sufrir. Es cierto, cogimos Y se manchó todo.

Heiliger Sonntag

Bin mit guten Absichten aufgewacht Ging aber ins Bett statt in die Kirche

Was kann ich sagen? Er hat mich verführt Und es hat zu Mehrfachglück geführt.

Ja, Buddha, leiden werde ich wieder. Es ist wahr, wir haben gefickt Und alles kaputt gemacht.

*It's Half Moon. I’m in the ovulation part of my menstrual cycle. I wonder, will the lust cycle cease when the bleeding ends? Or will lust masculinize (available arbitrarily) as the clitoris continues to grow with age? Desire can be soooooo enjoyable. Why vilify it? And with it vilify the body for experiencing desire? No thanks. Instead, enjoy it while it lasts! Why not? Remember Saint Teresa and her organic surrender to the divine? Surrendering desire in ecstasy. Lust. Hingabe. Giving oneself to the natural bliss the body generates physically, mentally, miraculously. I mean, just look at her face (according to the Italian sculptor Gian Lorenzo Bernini). Now that is one hell of an orgasm. What a Saint!

Filth

Disillusionement with sacred scripture. Will it ever end? What is sacred anyway? I became disillusioned with the Western Bible for all the rubbish and hubris contained within. Idealized another ancient scripture then, only to experience disillusionment again. With the Eastern Yoga Sutras. Brilliantly concise and complete. But, of course, what is written by humans will be as flawed as we are. So what? Take what you like and leave the rest, the saying goes. I confess to yearning for wholeseome and unquestionable answers. But even in a world of sensible answers, questions abound. 

Yoga Sutra II.40: śaucāt svāṅga-jugupsā parairasaṁsargaḥ 

"By purification arises disgust for one's own body and for contact with other bodies." (1) (1985)

The word 'jugupsa' can be translated as censure, dislike, aversion, being on one's guard, abhorrence, disgust. (2) Sva = self; anga = limbs/body; paraih = with others; asamsargah = non-contact/non-intercourse; saucat = by cleanliness/purity. (2002)

The connotations for the human body are negative. I take issue with that. Another interpretation of the Yoga Sutras (3) explains that the spiritual seeker will "From purity," develop "distaste for his own body and [thus have] no intercourse with others"... 

"When by practicing purity and seeing the defects in the body, he becomes disgusted with his own body, he becomes free from obsessions with the body; seeing what the body essentially is, he has no intercourse with others. So seeing, the renunciate finds no purity in the body even after he has washed it with earth and water and other things; how should he engage in intercourse with the absolutely unpurified bodies of others?" (1992)

I wonder, what exactly is the body essentially? And why is it understood to be essentially impure? This rings of a whole lot of unhealthy relationships with onself and others. It appears to contradict the wisdom of Yoga and the Sutras. It also explains the extreme ascetism that can be characteristic of classical yoga and the renunciates who seek social isolation. It also makes me think of the barbaric archaic Christian practices of self-flaggelation. I see no benefit in vieweing the body in a distasteful way. Yes, let's overcome the obsession with the body. But let's do so with compassion and love. I take fascination, study, exploration and admiration any day over distaste. Yes, it exists and all sorts of illnesses, addictions and afflictions (i.e. eating disorders, drugs, botox, plastic surgery etc.) result from experiencing distaste with the human body. Distaste is unwise. On the road to enlightenment/illumination all becomes relative if all is to be transcended in the end. Then, why loathe nature's bodies and their filth? Appreciation and love must not inhibit purity, cleanliness, hygiene, intercourse and procreation. On the contrary, they go hand in hand. The ancient Aztecs even had a Goddess of Filth, Tlazoltéotl ("Filth Deity"), who was a temptress and a purifier, ruling over flesh, feces, and feritility.  Filth is an undeniable aspect of human existence. Must we loathe it?

I.K. Tainmi doesn't seemm to think so (4), as he clarifies in his scientific interpretation of the Yoga Sutras, where Sutra 2.40 is translated as follows:

"From physical purity (arises) disgust for one's own body and disinclination to come in physical contact with others." (1986)

On the one hand Taimni declares: "The physical body is essentially a dirty object as a little knowledge of physiology will convince anyone." Not me. The physical body is essentially beyond dirty and beyond an object as a little knowledge of Sein (To be) will convince anyone, too. If it's but a matter of perspective, why vilify the body? To see it as wonderful and sacred and holy is possible as well. Isn't it? But Tainmi insists: "Physical beauty is proverbially skin deep and beneath this skin there is nothins but a mass of flesh, bones and all kinds of secretions and waste products which arouse disgust in our mind when they come out of the body."

Except, catching the constant shit of my babies also filled me with such joy. They filled me with joy. It's their shit. So what? Both the disgust and the joy of cleaning shit, piss and vomit were temporary anyway. The children grew up and learned to clean their own shit. And that is just a fragment of what having a human body means. It cannot be reduced to being essentially an object, for it enjoys a vast subjective existence (nervous system, intuition etc.) and is frequently the subject itself in a lifetime of movements. Tainmis understanding of the body is in my opinion essentially wrong. 

Distaste for the body leads to an antisocial state of mind. Tainmi explains that "A person who feels disgust for his own body is not likely to feel any attraction towards the bodies of others which are likely to be comparatively less clean. The disinclination to come in physical contact wih others is thus natural." Iyengar's translation turns Sutra 2.40 into a more practical guideline: "Cleanliness of body and mind develops disinterest in contact with others for self-gratification." (2002)

Today at the public pool, as I meditated on filth, I looked onto everybody there with great love. Even though it still felt gross to walk barefooted on moist and mini-muddy mystery wet floor. This did little to my sociability though, my love for humankind. Human nature is inevitably interactive and bodybound. Distaste only leads into the opposite of truly understanding what the human body essentially is. Distaste also threatens to divide what is inescapably unified. Potentially leading to all sorts of ills such as hierarchies, castes and ranks. It's socially divisive on a human scale, nihilistic in the individual. It's counterintuitive as it moves away from nature but not in a good way.

To develop a distaste for the human form on the path to illumination makes little sense to me. What were these ancient sages thinking? Blind to their own contradictions. And I thought they had it all figured out. The body is to be loved. Nature is to be loved. Distaste does occur, but is not wise. The body walks beyond distaste essentially, which is why it cannot be essentially distasteful. Nature nurtures and cleanses with equanimity. Balanced stillness for Prakriti thanks to Purusha? Or is Nature essentially balanced as well?

Even Tainmi believes in a "fundamental law of Love":

"But it should be noted that this does not mean any feeling of repulsion towards others, for that would be positively reprehensible and against the fundamental law of Love. A positive love towards the owner of the vehicle is quite compatible with a lack of desire to come in contact with the vehicle itself when a person has the capacity to distinguish between the two."

Except, remember Jesus of Nazareth?

"Love your neighbour as you love yourSELF." 

Every seeker exists inextricably linked to her body. The law of Love equally applies to one's own body, the one we're in constant contact with while alive.

At the pool I also thought about what thinker I might kiss if I could. Krishnamurti, maybe. Dshuang Dsi, definitely.

And then again, sacred scripture is as flawed as my desire for flawlessness. Thank God for the Dirt Goddess! Pendulum between filth and fertility, between desire and purity.

Tlazoltéotl - Diosa de la Suciedad 1

La perra olfateando donde se embarran la mierda, la orina y otras cosas.

Tlazoltéotl - Goddess of Filth 1
Bitch sniffing where shit, piss and other things are smeared.

Tlazoltéotl - Drecksgöttin 1
Eine Hündin schnüffelt die mit Scheisse, Pisse und anderen Dingen verschmierte Stelle.

(1) Integral Yoga - The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. Translation and Commentary by Sri Swami Satchidananda. 1985. 
(2) Light on the Yoga SUtras of Patanjali. B.K.S. Iyengar. 2002.
(3) Sankara on the Yoga Sutras - A Full Translation of the Newly Discovered Text. Trevor Leggett. Delhi, 1992.
(4) The Science of Yoga. I.K. Taimni. 1986.

Full Moon in Sagittarius

On a holistic awakening of the body.

You (mind, consciousness) are the body. The body is you. If you are spirit divine, then so is your biological body.

I've picked up on a perceptive phenomenon towards my body in terms of separateness, which appears to be calcified into its very tissue. The fascial net (connective tissue) is definitely affected, also muscles (dormant, hyperactive) and joints. Perhaps even the bones. Certainly the cellular map will be affected. Not sure how this affects the functioning of the nervous system. Is it actually the fascia that dictates movement, not muscle mass? Given its alleged superior number of neurons? It makes sense that the net moveth the mass, not vice versa. Too much mass force could rip the net connective force, couldn't it?

How can yoga help, say which asanas (poses), to integrate the wholeness of the human body and awaken atrophied parts to their existence as an integral element of a whole? What kind of practice can accomplish a holistic awakening of conscious proprioception? Only seated meditation? Cannot the principles of observation, awereness and mindfulness (i.e. body scanning, samadhi, complete absorption) be applied in any position?

The weight of my breasts feels like a proprioceptive distraction. Must get conscious in order to integrate their sensation, position and weight into my movements to avoid "misalignments." Must find an intentional way, and train into habit conscious breast bearing. Particularly the (upper) thoracic spine appears to be affected to the bone. I suspect that the inherent anatomical structure is prepared to accomodate the additional "dead" (muscleless) weight. I do remember what it was like to feel free in my body. What it was like not to bleed. As I once was a girl without the burden of tits, these baby-feeding extensions. But do I also remember what it was like to feel trapped? Like in an egg of some sort. (Is there confinement or freedom in a sphere?) Do I remember the organic separation from the motherwomb? What did that feel like? What sensations did spirit store and why? Maybe it doesn't matter because there is always freedom within?

After "losing" my body to trauma and transformation; to high heels, tights and corsets; to pregnancy, birthing and motherhood. Yoga has helped me come into contact with my child self and my love for moving creatively. Yoga has awakened my child consciousness and triggered healing from the wounds of womanhood.

What’s up with this notion in ("Western") anatomy to separate between body parts? For the sake of specificity? Specificity in what direction? One of separating or one of integrating? How does this affect human perception of the self? And how can a holistic view be created or restored? Yes, one whole made of parts, but which side of the scale do you swing towards?

I'm currently exploring the notion of a pendulum between whole and partial perception, in terms of human anatomy, of anatomical systems of perception. What effects on proprioception has the study of the body mapped out as specific parts? As opposed to the study of the human body mapped out as a holistic flow of energy, for instance? How do different schools of body perception, i.e. Western vis a vis Eastern anatomical conceptions (organic structure mapping) affect the way a human body is perceived?

Which asanas accentuate a holistic biological proprioception as opposed to being focused on more specific aspects of structure and mobility?

It seems to be a natural consequence to do backbends given the structure of the human spine. It's why they're possible to begin with. It's clearly been done before. Thus resulting in such an organism as the limbed spiral axial creature that is the human being, who bends back and forth and side to side. Ancient humans appear to have had a remarkable understanding of human anatomy. The body scriptum alone is a testament to that. Not to mention schools of movement wisdom. Thus, study of the organic body is essential to understanding humankind. Thus, creating mind. Beyond individual musings lies the power of Evolution, ceaselessly whispering words of wisdom past and carefully listenting to the beats of contemporary creativity.

The human creature is essentially intelligent. Then why does it behave with such ignorance? Because samsara (the world) is but a narcissistic creator fascination with the terrestrial human experience? A show for some abstract observer to watch but not get distracted by? An existential carnival. And it doesn't matter which carousel or roller-coaster you choose, you're still part of the carnival. Even as a mere spectator you still are!

Is a perceiver's essential nature individual or universal?

To the Temple of the Inner Self (1) (work in progress)

Things took a turn for the worse and a turn for the better. The seeker figured it was time to incorporate *God* more into her day to day. But how? She had learned to do it one way then another. But learned not much at all. Though she was learning all the time. The only way that remained was a rather anonymous today. The already traveled paths fading in an ambiguous distance.
The Abrahamic God had disappointed. Or anyway his human description. What about Jesus' God? Still seemingly patriarchal, but loving? There were many notions of *God/des* to be found.
Ishvara pranidhana captured the seekers curiosity. An ancient Indian existential notion, meaning surrender to God. Not unlike the third step in twelve-step philosophy. "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care [of a God of our understanding]." Ishvara pranidhana is the third element in a summary of Kriya Yoga, further summarized as: Kriya Yoga = devoted discipline + study of self (scripture) + surrender to *God/des*.

But, who or what is *concept God*? In the search for the structure of meaning (*concept* <=> form), what concept corresponds with the symbolic, linguistic conglomeration, the word formation G-o-d? The problem was she'd found many. Many. Not unlike Shiva himself with hundreds of names. Like Shiva himself there were many. Are all of them but forms for a concept of *God*? But. What. Is. This. Concept called God?

Zum Tempel des Inneren Selbst

Die Dinge wurden schlimmer und sie wurden besser. Die Suchende kam zur Erkenntnis, dass es an der Zeit wäre *Gott* mehr in ihren Alltag mit einzubeziehen. Nur wie? Sie hatte es eines Wegs gelernt und auch eines anderen Weges. Aber sie hatte nicht viel gelernt. Obwohl sie ständig am lernen war. Der einzige Weg der geblieben war ein anonymes Heute. Die bereits bereisten Pfade verschwanden in einer uneindeutigen Ferne.
Der abrahamistische Gott hatte enttäuscht. Zumindest seine menschliche Darstellung. Und Jesu Gott? Noch scheinbar patriarchal aber liebend? Es gab viele Vorstellungen von *GöttIn*. 

Ishvara pranidhana erfasste die Neugier der Suchenden. Eine Urindische existentielle Vorstellung mit der Bedeutung, sich Gott hingeben. 

Aber wer oder was ist *das Konzept Gott*? In der Suche nach der Struktur der Bedeutung (*Vorstellung*<=>Gestalt), welches Denkmodell ...

Sich verloren fühlen, allein. Gottlos sein. Aber warum, wenn Ernergie überall ist? Wasauchimmer dieses sogenannte göttliche (Licht) ist logischerweise allgengenwärtig. Licht? oder ist es doch die Leere? Wie kommt es dazu, dass Menschen sich in Gefühlen der Einsamkeit, Einzigartigkeit, des Getrenntseins verlieren können? Wegen der Geburtserfahrung, der organischen Trennung des Mutterleibes?

Rumbo al Templo del Ser Interior

... Craquear el código del cuerpo está cabrón. Requiere de mucho esfuerzo, entrenamiento, disciplina, concentración y práctica a lo largo del tiempo. La vida individual no parece distinguirse de la evulución entera. Padece de los mismos principios. El vivir individual de algunas decadas se rige por los mismos principios que una evolución planetaria entera de billones de años. Un dios de pensamiento terrenal no se distingue de la tierra. Aun si dicho pensamiento desea ir mas allá. ¿Más allá de qué? No se. ¿Acaso importa? Más allá del instante, quizás. La eternidad existe en cada momento. ¿No es asi? Ese algo cohabitando el mismo momento y todos los momentos. ¿Ese más allá?

Phenomenon 1

Ruphus: You are very high maintenance.
Apheida: Is your undivided attention too much to ask for?

Fenómeno 1

Rufo: Eres bien demandante.
Afeida: ¿Es demasiado pedir tu plena atención?

Phänomen 1

Ruphus: Du bist sehr anspruchsvoll.

Apheida: Ist deine volle Aufmerksamkeit zuviel verlangt?

Feminism/o/us

Feminism - through the lens of a female, coming from a feminine point of view + open to the male point view + LGBTQIA+ perspective

Feminismo - a través del lente de una mujer, que viene desde una perspecteiva femenina + apertura hacia el punto de vista masculino + la perspectiva LGBT+

Feminismus - durch die Linse der Weiblichkeit sehen, von einem weiblichen Blickwinkel stammend + offen für die männliche Perspektive + die LGBTQIA* Perspektive

   

 Sophia Schwangerschaft und Geburt